A Prayer For Forgiveness

Thunder and fire in my heart, a sewer of evil.
For so long I have known this. Known it without understanding, thrived in it and enjoyed the perversion. Night after night the nightmare continued, the cancer of sin growing in myself and pervading every part of me. I lived in death and deserved to, for death was my Lord. Shying from God, I constructed stupid walls and barriers around me, building the sin into myself, paying only a minute part of the price.

I am a murderer, a thief, a slanderer, a cheat, a liar, a shame. But now I am also different, for now I know that I am saved. Though my body grows old, my soul shall not wither. Head hung in despair, I hand my life into the hands of the one who gave it.

Jesus save me.
When I hated you, you loved me.
When I tried to shut you out, you waited patiently for my acknowledgement.
When I nailed you to the cross, you forgave me.
Rule my life, Oh Lord Jesus. Hold me in your arms and cleanse me.
Rescue me from the evil that lives within me and never let me go.
Be my shelter, my inspiration, my teacher, my Father, my brother, my Saviour, my Lord.

I know who you are now: you are life!
My life is yours. You gave it to me and I killed it.
Whatever is left I give back to you, for it is not mine to keep.

Thank you Jesus for the price you paid.
How terrifying, to be shut out, turned away from by God,
To have this life vacuumed out of me.
Praise you for saving me from this,
I love you.
Amen.